I saw you rise, shine and set
With each day I still fret
Born like a phoenix
I am willing to be dead
With every death
I learn to live
At every end
I learn to begin
The start is hard
End a scar
All along bruised
Injuries accrued
A prey, I bleed
Start a screech
Deafening crippling
But still finding me
Miles apart
Distant sighs
Deceased sensation
Sweet sedation
I live the death
No wish to resurrect
Numbness is bliss
An icy heart I wish
Seclusion from civility
In delusion is divinity
Torn, I heal my wound
Unseen in the wrecked dome
At once in the crowd
I see, I still pretend
Forsaken in the mob
I can not spot myself
I exist in two lives
Namely death and strife
Strife dreaded, Death beloved
With their twin sty
I abandon my twin souls to strive
I quit now, self –Apart I lie
Self-Apart, I Depart……………………
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Monday, August 6, 2007
A RENDEZVOUS WITH NATURE
On Friday, the 15th of June 2007 I along with a couple of friends had started off for Rishikesh-the land of gods and heavenly beauty. We had hired a taxi (AC) because the plains had become rather hot.
The journey as usual started off on a very weird note which is not uncanny (and I think dats auspicious) hehe……….a FLAT TYRE……..
Only thing I was looking forward to was the journey itself. A feast for eyes wherein even the mundane polluted abandoned deserted edifices-ruins-structures offer a novel insight.
I have an enduring belief that our eyes look at everything but see only when the psyche and body unite. When eyes search it’s a fixation and our mindful sight gets obsessed with the object. I “SAW” tons of structures of concrete throughout the pilgrimage. Yah it was a pilgrimage…to know MY GOD and follow MY RELIGION. I am the sermon, a tale to be read and understood by myself.
The philosophical diversion was very exhilarating but when dazed mind and youth blend the skirls create a trance. This trance was as pure as the ranting water of the Ganges. The journey was full of extremities from empty deserted roads to jam packed traffic jams, from maddening outpourings to the scorching sun, from a content belly to a killing void.
We were planning a halt at Cheetal Resort and were searching for it till midnight forgetting that it works on the concept of early to bed and early to rise. And the furious four were far from early risers and more of insomniacs. The expedition was educative and fascinating for my hungry mind. The darkness of the night was more enlightening, closer to life and more alive.
The minds at fire halted at Rishikesh the final destination without a reservation at 3 past midnight. The silence was refreshing and more secure unlike the silence of Delhi/ metro which is dreaded usually. The pristine environs were a delicacy for us. The Youth Hostel was the best possible temple for special creed of pilgrims. After feeding ourselves with a seemingly sumptuous feast we nourished our spirits.
Me and Smita (a fellow pilgrim & very dear friend) saw Rishikesh rise from the comforting darkness to a bright vivacious dawn. The process of sunrise and an advent of 16th June 07 was a laboratory experiment. I felt powerful not because I could control the experiment but because I felt one with nature…a part of the day. I was included with the clouds and birds in the celebration of a new dawn. I and Smita, two mortals mesmerized,
were the priests following the usual morning festivities. We greeted daylight with an intoxicating garland of sleep.
RIVER RAFTING is a practice with young pilgrims who visit the city. A water sport for which we shelled out Rs 400 per person (seemed a hype then) was worth every penny.
The thrill and adventure was unparalleled. The 90 minutes water stint was a victory for most of the fellow rafters. It was a triumph over apprehensions and restoration of faith in oneself. Belief in survival of the fittest (Darwin was not wrong indeed). The splash of cold Ganges acted as a coolant for the soul and cleansed the mind simultaneously. The experience was very subtle and incredible. Smita was a little afraid in the initial stages but she gracefully managed to survive. The gang members (Neha and Ri) also proved to be fit for survival in the extreme flow of the holy water.
It was hard to find civilized food as the place seemed to be more of desi ghee and masala cooking than anything that would help us to survive for 3 days. So we preferred to eat at the hotel itself and the meals were very sumptuous but sometimes bland.
For three days we knew only one part of Rishikesh- one opposite our room. The bond between the mountain range was inspiring. Each crevasse, each boulevard uphill (badrinath) was telling a story a journey through time. The witnesses were the clouds, birds, the Laxman Jhula as all lived like a community. From the windows, the doors and the spaces in the garden our eyes saw nothing but the expanse of two vast masses rising from the land. Theses were stirring the army of clouds ordering them to control activities of the sun with birds aiding to send messages across various sects of haze, mist and clouds.
A mass of white sand was shining all through the night. The moonlight made sand look divine and all the viewers were captivated because the gurgling misty water added the celestial touch. Recollections of the unimaginable sight in the night were so strong that I and Smita had found out a way to get to that white peninsular. We set off at 5 pm in shorts and t-shirt. After juggling on foot, taxi and rickshaw and reached the Hinterland. I felt like a chirpy fairy….it was a delight.
The night was full of smoke and mist. Most of it was human attempt to feel unison with nature. So natural grass and hash were used as a medium and the night went by in a trance. We waited for the sunrise but deep slumber had prevailed.
The following morning, Sunday, we set off for journey back to New Delhi. The hustle of the city was a welcome change. The whistle of chimneys, deafening sounds of shrieks, perpetual hunger-greed and blurring human shadows gave a sense of security. An assurance that adapting to the evils and understanding the sins is mandatory to attain sanity. Today, a Satan can tempt no Adam-Eve, as we all are an expression of human beauty and the human beast. The choice is critical. A tryst with nature and our reality can make us blinded to participate in the immense beauty or to own the power over it. I choose to be a part of the appreciative and constructive world. Learning about the human character has been possible by a rendezvous with nature.
I still have a long way to go to comprehend our true self.
The journey as usual started off on a very weird note which is not uncanny (and I think dats auspicious) hehe……….a FLAT TYRE……..
Only thing I was looking forward to was the journey itself. A feast for eyes wherein even the mundane polluted abandoned deserted edifices-ruins-structures offer a novel insight.
I have an enduring belief that our eyes look at everything but see only when the psyche and body unite. When eyes search it’s a fixation and our mindful sight gets obsessed with the object. I “SAW” tons of structures of concrete throughout the pilgrimage. Yah it was a pilgrimage…to know MY GOD and follow MY RELIGION. I am the sermon, a tale to be read and understood by myself.
The philosophical diversion was very exhilarating but when dazed mind and youth blend the skirls create a trance. This trance was as pure as the ranting water of the Ganges. The journey was full of extremities from empty deserted roads to jam packed traffic jams, from maddening outpourings to the scorching sun, from a content belly to a killing void.
We were planning a halt at Cheetal Resort and were searching for it till midnight forgetting that it works on the concept of early to bed and early to rise. And the furious four were far from early risers and more of insomniacs. The expedition was educative and fascinating for my hungry mind. The darkness of the night was more enlightening, closer to life and more alive.
The minds at fire halted at Rishikesh the final destination without a reservation at 3 past midnight. The silence was refreshing and more secure unlike the silence of Delhi/ metro which is dreaded usually. The pristine environs were a delicacy for us. The Youth Hostel was the best possible temple for special creed of pilgrims. After feeding ourselves with a seemingly sumptuous feast we nourished our spirits.
Me and Smita (a fellow pilgrim & very dear friend) saw Rishikesh rise from the comforting darkness to a bright vivacious dawn. The process of sunrise and an advent of 16th June 07 was a laboratory experiment. I felt powerful not because I could control the experiment but because I felt one with nature…a part of the day. I was included with the clouds and birds in the celebration of a new dawn. I and Smita, two mortals mesmerized,
were the priests following the usual morning festivities. We greeted daylight with an intoxicating garland of sleep.
RIVER RAFTING is a practice with young pilgrims who visit the city. A water sport for which we shelled out Rs 400 per person (seemed a hype then) was worth every penny.
The thrill and adventure was unparalleled. The 90 minutes water stint was a victory for most of the fellow rafters. It was a triumph over apprehensions and restoration of faith in oneself. Belief in survival of the fittest (Darwin was not wrong indeed). The splash of cold Ganges acted as a coolant for the soul and cleansed the mind simultaneously. The experience was very subtle and incredible. Smita was a little afraid in the initial stages but she gracefully managed to survive. The gang members (Neha and Ri) also proved to be fit for survival in the extreme flow of the holy water.
It was hard to find civilized food as the place seemed to be more of desi ghee and masala cooking than anything that would help us to survive for 3 days. So we preferred to eat at the hotel itself and the meals were very sumptuous but sometimes bland.
For three days we knew only one part of Rishikesh- one opposite our room. The bond between the mountain range was inspiring. Each crevasse, each boulevard uphill (badrinath) was telling a story a journey through time. The witnesses were the clouds, birds, the Laxman Jhula as all lived like a community. From the windows, the doors and the spaces in the garden our eyes saw nothing but the expanse of two vast masses rising from the land. Theses were stirring the army of clouds ordering them to control activities of the sun with birds aiding to send messages across various sects of haze, mist and clouds.
A mass of white sand was shining all through the night. The moonlight made sand look divine and all the viewers were captivated because the gurgling misty water added the celestial touch. Recollections of the unimaginable sight in the night were so strong that I and Smita had found out a way to get to that white peninsular. We set off at 5 pm in shorts and t-shirt. After juggling on foot, taxi and rickshaw and reached the Hinterland. I felt like a chirpy fairy….it was a delight.
The night was full of smoke and mist. Most of it was human attempt to feel unison with nature. So natural grass and hash were used as a medium and the night went by in a trance. We waited for the sunrise but deep slumber had prevailed.
The following morning, Sunday, we set off for journey back to New Delhi. The hustle of the city was a welcome change. The whistle of chimneys, deafening sounds of shrieks, perpetual hunger-greed and blurring human shadows gave a sense of security. An assurance that adapting to the evils and understanding the sins is mandatory to attain sanity. Today, a Satan can tempt no Adam-Eve, as we all are an expression of human beauty and the human beast. The choice is critical. A tryst with nature and our reality can make us blinded to participate in the immense beauty or to own the power over it. I choose to be a part of the appreciative and constructive world. Learning about the human character has been possible by a rendezvous with nature.
I still have a long way to go to comprehend our true self.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
On my own...ALONE
A lot of words unsaid,
Plenty of dreams dead.
Where did I falter?
I am anxious to know.
Quiet and reserved,
Heart broken and numb.
Anesthetized I lie,
Alone amidst countless silent sighs.
Alas! Never sensed the touch of hope.
The garb of pretense and love
I have to shove,
But I am forbidden to let go.
Impossible to worship you
Uneasy the existence becomes
Dissonance and conflict
Still I wish to hold on.
Faith dying lifeless,
Discord in abundance.
Erased chronicles,
Maneuvering expectations.
Crack of dawn
I plead to live on,
Like a phoenix
I rise from my dead.
Now, I disregard my past
No inscriptions last,
I breathe, I survive
Without a sigh.
The art, the life
The quick disguise
An eyewitness to all
I am the master of the Ball.
Devoid of apprehensions
In the moments alive
My moans now unvoiced
Only a prolonged smile
Losing my religion
I Confess am blinded
For good, I need you no further
I am on my own….Alone……….
Plenty of dreams dead.
Where did I falter?
I am anxious to know.
Quiet and reserved,
Heart broken and numb.
Anesthetized I lie,
Alone amidst countless silent sighs.
Alas! Never sensed the touch of hope.
The garb of pretense and love
I have to shove,
But I am forbidden to let go.
Impossible to worship you
Uneasy the existence becomes
Dissonance and conflict
Still I wish to hold on.
Faith dying lifeless,
Discord in abundance.
Erased chronicles,
Maneuvering expectations.
Crack of dawn
I plead to live on,
Like a phoenix
I rise from my dead.
Now, I disregard my past
No inscriptions last,
I breathe, I survive
Without a sigh.
The art, the life
The quick disguise
An eyewitness to all
I am the master of the Ball.
Devoid of apprehensions
In the moments alive
My moans now unvoiced
Only a prolonged smile
Losing my religion
I Confess am blinded
For good, I need you no further
I am on my own….Alone……….
Divine Beauty
The photo taken - Dal lake...while seated in a shikara..
The scenic beauty is breth taking and cannot be captured..
Chilled water is unlike the warmth which resides in the hearts of Kashmiris....
Peace in progress
Heaven on Earth
The obtrusive rocks bear the brunt...but manage to slow down the brutal attacks of the massive flow of water......
Silence in turbulance
Picture says alot. Kashmir is similar to these turbulent waters....
A soundless picture just tells nothing about the reality.
A silence aftr the blast,a riot does not talk about the fear but peace...
We are decived tons of times....
Turbulance is bliss and silence can kill..
Speak up..reach out
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