A Summer Twilight

A Summer Twilight frozen in Time

A girl sat waiting for someone special, in a restaurant thinking how summers are as much a delight as winters.

How soon the mood and weather changed. Such a transition.

She thought, The knitted wardrobe of  heavy winter clothing has given way to bright Linens and Cottons.
From coats to skirts the transition of seasons catches us unaware. Closets bulging out with jackets are now neatly packed up with shortest and least covering attires. Overcoats are backpacked and sent into hibernation while special sunny light tiny dresses now hang gracefully in the closet.

 Just flipping her legs, she remembered a cold evening in her winter boots. But today her Funky flip flops flatter, heels are no longer disturbed by fine leggings openly flirting the stairs with consistent chatter. Season of pedicures and judicious visits to salons and parlors is a mandate in her monthly expenses. Air is conditioned, coolers comfort the otherwise fuming mind.

How she loves all the colorful fruits that summer brings. Water-melons, Mangoes color the palate to yellows and dull reds. Eating out means that the day needs to end with mouth-watering ice creams and rich creamy flavored shakes. The Bright pinks, the soothing greens and small tiny bubbles make our soul breezy. Just then topped with Toppling Ice, a Long slim straw peeps out towards her from the ordered delightful drink. What a relief!!

Her drink chills the day and quenches thirst of the soul. The tiny droplets at the outside of luminous glass colors her petite fingers translucent . The blurring is not of vision but the object only. The bright solitaire shining on her finger, which was slid onto her hand just four months back, looks divine with a perched tiny droplet on it. Her million dollar smile is beyond everything that can ever make sense to him. She knows the ring sits like a crown, yes she rules a Man's heart, she owns her King. Is this the magic of the evening?

The sun is dim, its rays shining on her face and he is mesmerized by the ethereal beauty all over again. There is a beauty in this twilight, there is so in every evening as the sun sets. Walking into the restaurant , she knows he sees all these pretty faces and their smiles,  what makes her the queen of his heart? Why indeed did he decide to propose. She knew not, but she was aware that there was alot of love in this moment to sustain a lifetime. This was what she felt all this while since they were together.
"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" , he thinks as he gets lost in her eyes , the warmth has not changed the last he met her a month back.

Unlike winters when fog smears the eyes and diminishes visibility , A summer twilight's effect is more subtle and not blinding. Its beautiful to be somewhere in a dim lighted cozy joint, sipping Icy cold drinks with a warm  heart. The plush of summers is not in expensive overcoats its in the minimalism of excess. The queen of his heart sits there with no makeup, just boldly outlined Kajal with his favorite fruit gloss with the aura of her romantic fragrance. She knew , he knew that he has never loved a woman so much. She can read his eyes, she has learnt it now.

He sat down in front of her, he smiled, she blushed. She was busy adjusting her attire and she was fully aware that she was not perfect, no beauty , just an average girl. He has been away from her , in the sea of books , he remained hooked. Still they keep in touch through mails, chats and calls. She feels no distance can part them away. She feels he is with her always. Time and distance can never pinch enough to hurt their love.

A tear rolls down her cheeks, yes she is delighted to see him. He could see the joy brimming from her eyes. It felt as though like the straw peeped out from the glass with tiny colorful liquids painting it all the way from the bottom to way up, his beloved too was colored in his love. It was not an emotional outburst, there was no drama. This was true to the Summer Twilight, a subtle hint of expression of warmth, love and affection.
After all its minimalism of excess. Of all the emotions you hone, its not wise to flood the banks of your relationship. Subtle emotions work wonders in a pragmatic world. If in Love, Love to your heart's content and let the tiny despairs set beautifully into a wonderful relationship. The sun, skies, stars, moon , the landscapes work hard to make a twilight and its night harmonious. So is with emotions, over reactions-melodrama defy the basic rules of nature. This is something she learnt with rough experiences.

Just then , the prettiest twilight gave its way smoothly into the night, luckily the stars lighted the skies. In the love net, forget not to count the silver linings & numerous stars which add sparkle to your darkest nights.
This evening soon turned into a star lit night, holding hands the lovers disappeared into the crowd but The Twilight remains frozen in their heart as the warmth twinkles in their eyes & breaks into a smile each time the sun is about to set and a night is born. Each day, each night, this twilight remains alive and their love it ignites.

This is their moment frozen in time.

The Pilgrimage

A visit to Vaishnodevi.
The experience was over whelming. The moment we stepped out to start our journey , I was aware that something is about to change.

We reached Jammu and it was an alien land. Why so? 

Because there was no chaos , it was an easy life.

Everyone was at peace with their lives. 

And yes there were groups of people who were barefoot and just walking colored in saffron clothes.

With Jai Mata di headbands. It was a different world. 

We first prepared our body for the pilgrimage, we thought to take some rest and make sure we fed ourselves a little.We realized later, it was not as much about our bodily strength than it was about our mental character.

While I was sitting in the train on our way back, I knew what had changed in me.

There was a shift in perspective. It did not matter how I looked while I was dead on my way back, the zeal was that I made it back without any support,on my own.I had no mental support , no one to give me a pat on my back, no one to hold my hand, we were maybe all on our own. Except the lucky ones who might have truly had some companions. There was no right or wrong, to take the stairs or the slope, to rest when the other one was in discomfort  I appeared to be stronger, ate my pain and kept on with the pace. The journey back was more painful, because there was a certain disappointment that all this hoopla was around an Idol which we barely saw for 3 secs and were hushed out.

It was a complete setback  , the conditions way up and way down with horse shit and water and rains and so much of crowd.I kept on praying please dont rain, but well that is the Test. You will be put through bad circumstances.What peace and what wisdom can come through this.

The experience taught me something, which was Faith and Trust.
It was belief in our strengths. It was loving your goal more than loving your comfort.

I saw men carrying their mothers/fathers/kids on their backs for 28kms, they had no resources to hire a horse/ass/palki..what they had was immense faith that what I am carrying is not a burden. They walked at an unbelievable pace. Their rhythm , the discipline and their focus was appalling.

And here we were, broken mind, body and soul, wondering why would anyone come here .

Is it worth it? 

In life, alot of times, we forget what we learnt because we are busy criticizing what we got. We are sad because we are comparing ourselves to others.

We miss out on smaller joys because we are focussing way too much on the end result, we are driven by accomplishments and not by experiences.

I am not sure if I would want to visit again, but I am open to any opportunity when I am called again to Vaishnodevi.

It taught me to love all and to give it all I got.

When we are tired , we know the plight of the other person as well, because we are travelling in the same boat.

We are all in different shoes, and not all humans are physically the same level, respect the differences and keep moving.

It rained and rich, poor, crippled, young, old all kept on moving. Adversities should not stop us.

The journey was colored white, INR 20 rupees raincoat which saved us from the rain.

Everyone had the same means to protect themselves, it was a journey of equals.

On our way back in train we met a devout pilgrim, who visits every month, then also those who visit maybe every week.Though I agree that god or that power exists and needs to be heeded. But I am not really sure how much comforts are we ready to give up.I can make that journey every week sitting in a helicopter, but I am not sure if I will make the same journey every week /month if I was on foot.

So many people's belief does make me think its a miracle and maybe Vaishnodevi and many such pilgrimages have some power.I firmly agree to the fact that, we do change our outlook visiting these places.

How else can experiences mould us. These are our own choices , to climb 14kms for a 3 sec glimpse of an idol.

The power of it transforms us, not to believe in all this blindly but they give us a re assurance that we all are able enough beyond our capacity.

A 70 yr old can walk through that 28 kms with a smile with a hope of visiting again very soon.

That is courage, that is the real learning.

All that we ask for, all that we wish for, we are ready to climb mountains but are we ready to accept the final consequences?

Are we ready for firm acceptance of the outcome? Will we crib about the tough life or will we smile at the very small funny incidents in our lives.

Perspectives change once we see the real people, the real life. 

Some sleepless nights , and we will sleep even without the conditioned air, we will rest without any conditions, without any fans.

What I learnt?? Many things, most importantly, when we give something all we got, when we tire ourselves beyond limits, when the pain of body disrupts your sleep.

You will still smile, because you do not regret. You did not give up, you had faith. You knew there are more able people with resources , there are people low on money. 

You will keep on moving. You will live the experience , you will internalize all pains and all smiles. 

You will live in the moment, you will give your best, you will not fret, you will not compare, you will focus and reach you destination, knowing that this is not the end of the journey.

You are wiser because even when you got nothing, you have lost nothing. You now know how much you can endure, you know where to rest and when to scale up your efforts.

Destination was disappointing, but main was the journey. 

I asked nothing when I was in front of the Idol for 3 secs, I could not think of anything to ask for, I just thanked her and asked for blessings.

My first Pilgrimage was a perfect one. I learnt more than I imagined I can understand.
Awaiting for the next pilgrimage to unravel soon, 


Maybe wiser men knew-


'When , finally , we reached the place,
We hardly knew why we were there.
The trip had darkened every face,
Our deeds were neither great nor rare.
Home is where we have to gather grace.


-Nissim Ezekiel


No pilgrimage can ever cure an impure mind, a dirty soul, a selfish heart.
Before you make your next Pilgrimage , make sure we clean up the dirt.
Yes, Metaphorically and literally.