The Pilgrimage

A visit to Vaishnodevi.
The experience was over whelming. The moment we stepped out to start our journey , I was aware that something is about to change.

We reached Jammu and it was an alien land. Why so? 

Because there was no chaos , it was an easy life.

Everyone was at peace with their lives. 

And yes there were groups of people who were barefoot and just walking colored in saffron clothes.

With Jai Mata di headbands. It was a different world. 

We first prepared our body for the pilgrimage, we thought to take some rest and make sure we fed ourselves a little.We realized later, it was not as much about our bodily strength than it was about our mental character.

While I was sitting in the train on our way back, I knew what had changed in me.

There was a shift in perspective. It did not matter how I looked while I was dead on my way back, the zeal was that I made it back without any support,on my own.I had no mental support , no one to give me a pat on my back, no one to hold my hand, we were maybe all on our own. Except the lucky ones who might have truly had some companions. There was no right or wrong, to take the stairs or the slope, to rest when the other one was in discomfort  I appeared to be stronger, ate my pain and kept on with the pace. The journey back was more painful, because there was a certain disappointment that all this hoopla was around an Idol which we barely saw for 3 secs and were hushed out.

It was a complete setback  , the conditions way up and way down with horse shit and water and rains and so much of crowd.I kept on praying please dont rain, but well that is the Test. You will be put through bad circumstances.What peace and what wisdom can come through this.

The experience taught me something, which was Faith and Trust.
It was belief in our strengths. It was loving your goal more than loving your comfort.

I saw men carrying their mothers/fathers/kids on their backs for 28kms, they had no resources to hire a horse/ass/palki..what they had was immense faith that what I am carrying is not a burden. They walked at an unbelievable pace. Their rhythm , the discipline and their focus was appalling.

And here we were, broken mind, body and soul, wondering why would anyone come here .

Is it worth it? 

In life, alot of times, we forget what we learnt because we are busy criticizing what we got. We are sad because we are comparing ourselves to others.

We miss out on smaller joys because we are focussing way too much on the end result, we are driven by accomplishments and not by experiences.

I am not sure if I would want to visit again, but I am open to any opportunity when I am called again to Vaishnodevi.

It taught me to love all and to give it all I got.

When we are tired , we know the plight of the other person as well, because we are travelling in the same boat.

We are all in different shoes, and not all humans are physically the same level, respect the differences and keep moving.

It rained and rich, poor, crippled, young, old all kept on moving. Adversities should not stop us.

The journey was colored white, INR 20 rupees raincoat which saved us from the rain.

Everyone had the same means to protect themselves, it was a journey of equals.

On our way back in train we met a devout pilgrim, who visits every month, then also those who visit maybe every week.Though I agree that god or that power exists and needs to be heeded. But I am not really sure how much comforts are we ready to give up.I can make that journey every week sitting in a helicopter, but I am not sure if I will make the same journey every week /month if I was on foot.

So many people's belief does make me think its a miracle and maybe Vaishnodevi and many such pilgrimages have some power.I firmly agree to the fact that, we do change our outlook visiting these places.

How else can experiences mould us. These are our own choices , to climb 14kms for a 3 sec glimpse of an idol.

The power of it transforms us, not to believe in all this blindly but they give us a re assurance that we all are able enough beyond our capacity.

A 70 yr old can walk through that 28 kms with a smile with a hope of visiting again very soon.

That is courage, that is the real learning.

All that we ask for, all that we wish for, we are ready to climb mountains but are we ready to accept the final consequences?

Are we ready for firm acceptance of the outcome? Will we crib about the tough life or will we smile at the very small funny incidents in our lives.

Perspectives change once we see the real people, the real life. 

Some sleepless nights , and we will sleep even without the conditioned air, we will rest without any conditions, without any fans.

What I learnt?? Many things, most importantly, when we give something all we got, when we tire ourselves beyond limits, when the pain of body disrupts your sleep.

You will still smile, because you do not regret. You did not give up, you had faith. You knew there are more able people with resources , there are people low on money. 

You will keep on moving. You will live the experience , you will internalize all pains and all smiles. 

You will live in the moment, you will give your best, you will not fret, you will not compare, you will focus and reach you destination, knowing that this is not the end of the journey.

You are wiser because even when you got nothing, you have lost nothing. You now know how much you can endure, you know where to rest and when to scale up your efforts.

Destination was disappointing, but main was the journey. 

I asked nothing when I was in front of the Idol for 3 secs, I could not think of anything to ask for, I just thanked her and asked for blessings.

My first Pilgrimage was a perfect one. I learnt more than I imagined I can understand.
Awaiting for the next pilgrimage to unravel soon, 


Maybe wiser men knew-


'When , finally , we reached the place,
We hardly knew why we were there.
The trip had darkened every face,
Our deeds were neither great nor rare.
Home is where we have to gather grace.


-Nissim Ezekiel


No pilgrimage can ever cure an impure mind, a dirty soul, a selfish heart.
Before you make your next Pilgrimage , make sure we clean up the dirt.
Yes, Metaphorically and literally.